Good Advice Brings Love

This morning I got a call from my best friend, CJ, who lives in Pittsburgh, telling me that her little brother, M., proposed to his girlfriend last night. She said yes!

This was a welcome bit of news, as at the outset of their dating relationship, I prodded M. to make his move. He was somewhat gun shy at the outset, so in the role of older-less-conservative sister, I sent him text messages with advice such as, "Be the Cheetah to the Gazelle." My directive seems very juvenile now, but look where we are! It worked! This morning, I patted myself on the back for my small but crucial involvement in bringing the union about.

In fact, I have my own "sister" to credit with giving me some counsel at an important romantic crossroads in my life eight years ago.

My friend A., wise, beautiful, and full of life, is, like me, full of advice for herself and others. After a string of poor relationship choices, I asked A. to help me work on my "LIST." After almost no deliberation, she boiled it down to three things: He must 1) cook, 2) fix things, and 3) have life-long friends. At the time, this seemed a strange set of variables, but knowing A. and her infinite wisdom, I thought I would take her criteria out on the town and see what would happen.

One afternoon, I was having a pint at the local bar, Sparky's. I happened to be sitting next to a cute, conservatively-dressed redhead with an earring who looked about 30 or so. I struck up a conversation with him, and eventually asked him what he did for a living. "I fix *stuff*," he said, which turned out to be a euphemism for high tech surveillance cameras. Later on in the conversation, he told me a story about R., his friend "from 5th grade." I immediately followed up that anecdote with the question, "So, can you cook?" Not only can T. cook, he can cook like a pro.

To this day, I still wonder if A. is psychic. I also wonder what would have happened if I had just dismissed her input, thinking it the wild ravings of an ex-hippie. I also think about M., if that little bug in his ear might not have been, just how much farther down the line I would be hearing of his engagement.

Today it is in the arena of romance that I'm reminded to keep my ears open to the wisdom of others. Particularly as a person with bipolar disorder, whose ears have a tendency to close with the onset of symptoms, it is important to keep in touch with the support and guidance of others, whether I use the input or not.